Big Check

OK, I’ve got a bit here. I think this would really work in the context of a larger story. It doesn’t work as well as a standalone joke. How well this worked would be heavily dependent on the actors playing the parts.

A man walks into a bank with one of those giant sweepstakes checks made out to him, having just won a big prize.

Man: “Hey, I’d like to deposit this?”

Teller: [Looks the check over.] Ah, you still need to endorse this here, sir. [Teller pulls out giant three-foot pen.]

[Man awkwardly signs giant check. Teller puts giant check into giant check scanner behind counter, then hands Man a regular receipt for the transaction.]

Man: [Smiles] Aren’t you going to give me a giant receipt?

Teller: [Slightly put-out] Don’t be silly.

So, who could play those two parts best? We need someone slightly snooty as the teller, and a straight man for the customer.

I also have a feeling that this is just a variation on a classic that already exists.

Five Years of Blogging

This blog’s fifth anniversary recently passed. I posted my first entry here on May 28th, 2003, and it’s been an interesting ride ever since. (When I started this blog, I had no intention of ever becoming a web developer. Then I fell in love with web standards and web authoring, and now it’s my profession.)

People routinely ask me, “Why do you blog?” Sometimes they get really honest and come right out and say, “Aren’t you worried about privacy?” Privacy is definitely something I think about and feel strongly about. I’ve been reading (and listening) to Cory Doctorow’s new book Little Brother lately, and it has certainly brought privacy issues to the forefront of my mind. But at least with this blog, I get to choose what’s private and what’s not. That’s not a lack of privacy, that’s perfect privacy: controlled by the individual about whom the information is kept.

There are several reasons I blog. Lemme ’splain it.

  • Recording personal history. This is probably the biggest reason of them all. This blog is a digital heirloom that I will pass on to my children and my children’s children, on and on forever. It won’t take much room to store: the contents of the entire database with all my entries and all the comments from you folks is currently only 3.1 MB in size. If you add all the photos, movies, and other random bits of junk, it inflates to 350 MB. However, in the year 2070, that’ll be nothing. (You can already fit 4 GB of data under your tongue.) Yes, I really do expect these writings to last that long and far longer. I wish I had journals and writings (or English translations of them since I don’t speak German or Swedish) from my ancestors in 1900 or even 1800. I might not read every word they said, but I would be fascinated to hear the kinds of things they cared about. I want to know what they believed, what motivated them, and what they learned. If those who forget history are doomed to repeat it, why would I want to allow my ancestors to be in that pointlessly-repeating crowd? The fact that I’m recording this also inspires me to not live a forgettable life. We’re surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, many of whom we’ll never meet.
  • Communicating with the world. The “personal history” reason above could be served just as well with me typing into text files on my hard drive and saving them online somewhere. So why make it an easily-accessible blog with a comments system and a Google sitemap? I do this because I love conversing with you all. I’ve been criticized in the past for being “in the comments” too much. At the time of this writing, this blog has had 2,646 comments from readers, and judging by a quick-and-dirty MySQL query, about 22% of them are written by me. I’m not just here taking your comments in silently. I’m responding and conversing. You’ve all taught me a lot through our conversations, and now, you’re all a part of my digital heirloom too. Thank you.
  • I ♥ the Intertubes. It’s true. I absolutely love authoring on an instantaneous worldwide platform. I love it so much I left my previous line of work (project management with a little web authoring when time allowed) and decided to make websites full-time. I don’t write these entries in WordPress’s “Visual Editor” thingy. I open up an XHTML document in TextMate. I like it that way. I don’t know why. Don’t try to sell me on MarsEdit. It’s cool, but I don’t want it. I’m not trying to be efficient, I’m trying to enjoy myself, and XHTML is fun, even if it’s simple. Aside from loving the code, I love having a distribution platform on which I can write creatively, release whatever kind of art or thoughts I want, and know that my good friends will see it. It encourages me to create.

Thanks for taking this ride with me. Here’s to five more years.

The iPhone, Location, and Product Pricing

A few years ago I had an idea for a website that would help its users to see which stores had a particular item in stock. I was tired of phone shopping for popular items, and I was even more tired of driving to a store only to find that they don’t have the one thing I’m looking for. It seemed simple: I want Item X for a reasonable price. I am located at these GPS coordinates. List the retailers that have Item X in order of ascending distance from me. However, it was pointed out that this idea would require the cooperation of each store’s inventory system, and it was likely that I wouldn’t ever get such deep cooperation from the biggest, most popular stores. So I ditched the idea.

When the software for what Apple calls iPhone 2.0 was introduced on March 6th, Apple spoke of a framework they were adding to the device called Core Location (optionally see the Core Location documentation on Apple’s Developer Center, registration required). The framework, according to Apple’s documentation, “lets you determine the current latitude and longitude of a device.” That data can then be used in applications on that device. (It is my strong opinion that locational awareness will be the defining feature of killer iPhone applications, just as connectedness and participation were the defining features of all killer desktop computer applications of the last 15 years, just as cheap desktop publishing was the defining feature of the 15 years of computing before that.)

Let me tell you about the iPhone application idea I had in the evening on March 6th. I’ve kept it under wraps until now, but I know now it’s pointless to stay silent for personal reasons I’ll go into later.

Let’s say you’re at the store. You’re going to buy a product. But you want to know if there is a better deal on that product at another nearby store, or somewhere else in town. So you get your iPhone out, open this application, and point the camera at the product’s barcode. It scans the barcode, talks to “the cloud” to see what the product is, and talks to Core Location to figure out approximately where the user is currently standing. If there is more than one store in the reasonable proximity of the user, it asks them which store in the list they are at, and asks them to either enter or confirm the price (if someone else has already entered it) of that particular product at that particular store. The user can then see other stores in the area (perhaps within a preferentially-set distance radius) and the prices they are charging for that product, with a quick click over to Google Maps to call the store and check to see if it’s still in stock, and to get driving directions to the store. The application would pay for itself after a few smart uses, and in this economy, I’d rather be selling aspirin software than vitamin software. This application is definitely an aspirin.

I think stores would start to scan their own stuff, or talk with the owner of the aforementioned “cloud” database for a way to quickly upload their entire inventory with up-to-date prices every so many hours. Users would initially power the system, and eventually help to fill in the gaps. (Don’t tell me relying on users to provide useful information doesn’t work. Look at Wikipedia.) The application has a great sense of participation and anti-”The Man” that I think people would really get into. Another boon: the search and matching algorithms could be updated to match products that are very similar to the one scanned (say, if they scan something purely functional and commoditized like bread or windshield cleanser) so that users wouldn’t have to make extra effort to search outside the brand they’re currently scanning. Perhaps it would eventually expand to items that were difficult to scan, like gasoline prices, and encompass everything a person would buy.

In late March I informally pitched this idea to Wil Shipley for reasons that will be obvious to users of Delicious Library. He liked the idea, but passed on the offer to take almost all of the profits from it if he developed it. I don’t blame him; ideas these days are a dime a dozen, but makers are hard to find. Moreover, talented makers are extremely rare and valuable. That’s why after thinking it through, I decided not to try to pitch the idea to more people on the hopes that I could make a profit from it without doing any work. That’s cheap. I know I can’t create this alone because I’m a “web guy” and I just don’t have the 40+ hours per week of free time this would require of me if the application was going to come out in 2008. I’d have APIs to learn. My Obj-C is extremely rusty. I’ve never really used Xcode seriously. All these things start to sound like cheap excuses though, don’t they? Maybe that’s what they are. I can’t tell.

So, if I want to use this application badly enough, I’ll round up a group of people and we’ll make it happen. Maybe it’ll be open-source and free. I don’t know how one would go about wisely leading such an effort, so if anyone would like to lend me a hand or give me advice, I’m wide open and willing to listen. All that I ask is that I be able to steer this idea from a very high level, and have a lot of input on the user interface and feature list. I think that’s where I could add the most value. I feel like I’ve already used this application I’ve thought about it so much. The only thing I don’t have is a name. I’ve heard many; they all suck. (Sorry, peeps who made suggestions.) Price Finder is too obvious (and probably too taken), and please kill me if I call it “Scannr.”

On a personal note, one of my defining struggles in life over the last few years has been to become the kind of person who would rather make than consume. To be a creator of culture rather than a consumer of it. To be a shaper of the world rather than allowing the world to shape me. I’m far from that goal, but I intend to continue pursuing it. Maybe by the time I’m 50 or 60 I’ll be there. That’s plenty of time to learn about more than just web development.

The Storm

Last Sunday, the 25th, we were hit by a pretty severe thunderstorm. Large parts of the Twin Cities metro area didn’t feel a thing, but in Forest Lake, we had some really serious winds, crazy sideways rain, and marble-sized hail. I didn’t get video of the worst of it because I was hiding in the storage room with my family, but I did get a minute or two of it while the hail was coming down.


Watch The Storm from Josh Lewis! on Vimeo.

Unfortunately, just 15 minutes south of our house, Hugo was hit by a tornado, one child was killed, dozens of people were injured, and many houses were totally leveled. Because of this, I’ve found myself comparing tornados to earthquakes, having just traded the latter for the former in moving from California to Minnesota. It’s impossible to know whether or not this was a good trade or not, but it’s an interesting question nonetheless. Which is more deadly?

From the six or so years Steph and I lived in California, I can only recall two noticeable earthquakes. The first happened while I was in my car driving, and I couldn’t feel it. I heard about it from everyone else after it happened. The second happened in late October of 2007, and I definitely did feel it, as did Steph, and as did my parents who were visiting at the time and watching Mitch Hedberg with me on a borrowed Apple TV. (”We don’t have to bring ink and paper into th–KA-CHUGGA-CHUGGA-CHUGGA-CHUGGA-SHUNK-SHUNK-SHUNK-SHUNK.”) But neither of those strongest quakes were strong enough to knock any buildings down or kill anyone. Mercifully, deadly quakes are generally spaced apart by a few decades, and then come in relatively tight clusters.

Tornados, on the other hand, come almost every year, especially in the Spring, and have a bit of a habit of knocking buildings down. I don’t have mortality rate data on Minnesotan tornadoes, but from what I recall it’s fairly commonplace for a few people to lose their lives if the tornado touches down in a populated place or is strong enough. So it seems the real comparison here is whether the few people killed each year by Minnesotan tornados could ever catch up to the several thousand killed every 30 to 50 years by big Californian earthquakes. And based on extremely fuzzy math, the answer is “no.” California’s natural disasters are more dangerous.

Assuming the point of life is to stay alive, which clearly it is (For support, see argument, “I mean, come on.”), we made a really good move. It’s good to be back!

Caleb & Photo Booth

Caleb and I had some fun tonight with Photo Booth when I had him in the Baby Bjorn.

Caleb in Photo Booth

Clay Shirky’s “Cognitive Surplus”

A brilliant talk made by a brilliant man on the key changes coming in our society due to what he calls “cognitive surplus.” 

Watch Clay Shirky at Web 2.0 Expo SF 2008 on blip.tv

I Feel Great! Again!

I’m closing on my first house in two days, but no, I’m not going to write about something meaningful like that. Not tonight, anyhow. The thing that has compelled me more than any other to sit down and blog tonight is the discovery of a commercial. But not just any commercial. A commercial I already blogged about four years ago. Excited yet? Yeah, me too!!

Last time I wrote about it, the ad was apparently taken offline due to the fact that it was becoming too popular for the host’s bandwidth bill. I haven’t seen it in four years, and I rediscovered it today. It’s just as funny now as it was then. Enjoy, and feel great.

Nutri-Grain Ad - I Feel Great