A Little Turt’ll Do Ya

It’s been said that Apple attracts some oddballs now and then. Hey, I’m out here, aren’t I? But every once in awhile someone really takes that "Think different" slogan to a whole new level, and I get to witness it because I work right there in the thick of it. What happened last week was no exception.

As I turned onto Mariani Avenue I saw a giant turtle on the sidewalk, waving at incoming Apple employees. I waved back. “I like this guy already,” I thought. But I didn’t quite catch what his sign said. Something about 10% market share, and beating Dell. That was enough to make me go out to shake his hand. Two of my coworker friends decided to come with.

I can’t trace my affinity to strange people back to one singular source. Sesame Street and the Muppets? Hanging out with the "theatre crowd"? Being a Lewis? Yeah, probably being a Lewis. I’ve just always loved people who were different, and not afraid to be different. The thing that shocked me was that as I came within 30 meters of the Giant Turtle, my two friends simultaneously stopped walking and let me continue on without them, without saying a word. I wondered if I hadn’t noticed some chalk line labeled "BLAST RADIUS" scribbled on the pavement, and continued on.

It turned out the Turtle’s name was Henry, and he was a president of something. He was pretty nice. I shook his hand, as promised, and took a flier from him which repeated the information on his website. The idea of what he does is still slightly fuzzy in my mind, even with the aid of the information on his website. He said that contacting Apple the normal way wasn’t too effective, so he hoped that this might work better. I told him I had his back on the 10% thing and wished him luck. After looking at the source code on that website, I should have told him to stop using MS Word to make web pages (blllleeccch!!!), but I didn’t. Please pardon that dereliction of duty.

The guy in the security van pulled up just outside the blast radius and asked me for the flier. Apparently I had made first contact. I handed it over on the condition that I could go back and get a second one to keep. That seemed okay with him, so I did. Henry even gave me an extra for a friend.

So the moral of the story is… actually, I’m going to let you guys fill that one in. Post your Moral of the Story in the Peanut Gallery. Let’s see what we can all learn from the turtle who became President. Of Something.

UPDATE: Jack Miller over at As the Apple Turns has also decided to write about this little story. Yeah, he’s the cicada guy from a few days ago.

7 thoughts on “A Little Turt’ll Do Ya

  1. Fixed! It’s because you were viewing it in the article but not in the main listing, and I forgot to make my links absolute. Sorry! D’oh!

  2. With pics viewable … hummm … the moral of the story. I’d say the moral of the story is to make sure to keep your digital camera close, so you can document events like this.

    As for the turtle and Apple’s market-share, we seem to want the same thing so I won’t hold him down. Heroes in a half shell! Turtle power!

  3. Indeed, that is a good moral. I wasn’t using my own camera because it’s too big to carry everywhere without looking like a tourist in my own city. I had to use a coworker’s camera. Luckly she had one with her, or it’s possible the entire world might have missed out on this event.

    Must… get… smaller camera…

  4. The moral of the story is twofold: presidencies, big turtles suits, and bad web design come cheap: but sanity is priceless. Also, the little thing in people’s head that signal’s “social blast radius” is missing from Jay Gordon’s noggin.

  5. the moral of the story is apple security guards are dumb and need some real work to do.

    i was biking to work yesterday and was almost run over in the parking lot and they didn’t do anything.

  6. The moral of the story is that, though I’m not a programmer and I do have messy code (at least on my first website)…I don’t suck as much as this guy. It took a novel of crappy MS Word code to make his page white with black text. It made me curl into the fetal position and weep silently to myself as I imagined a world with nice, neatly coded websites.

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