Thank you for your prayers so far, guys. Stephanie has just posted an entry that explains part of what I was talking about the other day. This obviously impacts both of us very deeply, so your continued prayers are greatly appreciated.
It’s hard to know how to feel about things like this when they happen. Part of me thinks that after three miscarriages, I might be kinda used to it by now. Another part of me says, “Do you ever get used to people dying?” I really do think of my kids as “people” even though they never lived outside the womb, and I never got to know them on a personal level. Or at least I haven’t yet. The thought of that prospect–seeing them in Heaven for the first time and getting to know them there–absolutely shakes me to my core.
I could blubber on about “acceptance issues,” and talk about Job and talk about yielding to the Will of God even when we don’t understand it. But I think that would be preaching to the choir, mostly. I may understand it some day. I may not. Right now, I just want to feel some peace, whether it’s peace with understanding or peace without it. And I think it’s on its way.