Danbury Mint

Generally, Steph and I are very negative and snobbish about kitch. It’s not that we hate the people who buy it. We just don’t get into it. We’re not excited about garden gnomes or dogs playing poker.

But there’s one notable exception to this rule, and that’s the Dachshund Collection at the Danbury Mint. Somehow, at some point, we were added to their mailing list for Dachshund memorabilia, and they send us an ad with a large glossy photo of their latest craptacular masterpiece every single month. We would never actually buy any of this. I’m hoping no one misunderstands this entry as an invitation to send us small pieces of dachshund-shaped porcelain that we need to regularly dust. That’s not where I’m going here.

Having said that, whenever I see that envelope with the Danbury Mint return address, I get a little excited. Today I clapped my hands. I really wanted to see what they’d come up with next, and I wasn’t disappointed when my eyes gazed upon The Dachshund Calendar. Peep that sucker. Pardon the crudity of the stitched-together scan, but the biggest one on the web was only 400 pixels tall, and that just won’t do when you’ve got an 11″ x 13″ glossy in front of you and you know the splendor people are missing.

Steph’s favorite is September, whereas I’m a sucker for February. I think it’s the wings.

Why do I get the feeling that this experience could teach me something about being a parent?

7 thoughts on “Danbury Mint

  1. But, September dachshund is GOING TO SCHOOL! He even has number magnets on his little lunchbox. That’s so cute.

    Oh, and if we did have these, we would never have to dust them. Because they would be in a box in the attic. And last time I checked, people don’t dust stuff that’s packed in boxes in their attics…

  2. Who buys this stuff? Do they actually enjoy having to rearrange all the numbers every month? It looks like it would take forever, especially with the special holiday tiles.

  3. “Why do I get the feeling that this experience could teach me something about being a parent?”

    It’s teaching you to resist the temptation to buy clothing that says things like “baby’s 1st (fill in the blank with appropriate holiday)” and take them to get their picture taken in said outfit and then frame the photo in a corresponding “Baby’s 1st…” picture frame.

  4. Nicole likes August because of how he peers over the sunglasses, but I’m definitely a March kinda guy. I mean, seriously, it’s a lepreschund!

  5. Actually, after further thought, I think the only realistic dachshund on the calendar is September. The little bastard stole somebody’s lunch and is now making off with it. In 2 more seconds, he will have swallowed the entire lunchbox whole or will have dropped the lunchbox in a wiggly fury while trying to spin around and bite the person who’s trying to get her lunchbox back.

    I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it with a big mac, a piece of grilled chicken, a giant tootsie roll, a loaf of garlic bread, a mouthful of bacon, and the infamous stick of butter (which Henson did swallow whole…).

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