I am switching my entry title to the number entry on this topic rather than the days I’ve been married. That could has already become cumbersome.

I do have to admit, I am learning more than I care to write down. Not that that it’s not worth it; it’s just SO much I haven’t really had enough time to take it all in yet. Note: Heather knows nothing of the turn this blog has taken. She will eventually, no doubt.

OK, well here’s a short list of some things I’ve learned:

– It hasn’t necessarily what we’ve seen or where we’ve gone that has really made this honeymoon feel unique, it’s been the people we’ve met. Our first day on Kauai we met a couple, Dick and Laurie, who had been to the island over 20 times. They gave a few suggestions and then asked if we’d join them for a cook out the next night. We grilled at sunset and had beautiful flowing conversations, and for dessert Dick and Laurie sang us a duet about garbage men. Unforgettable.

– I love her even more when I observe how she relates to my dad, how she loves him.  How she loves my whole family, for that matter.

– We are lovers of over two and a half weeks and even though we have better and more communication than most people in this areas, and have a mutual gentleness, thoughtfulness, altruism, curiosity, desire, etc., there are some areas and points of view that can be very delicate subjects. I imagine there will continue to be hard issues(ha!) for a time to come. I consider myself an attentive and confident lover, but I find myself battling insecurities and idealism daily. Thank the Lord I have the wife I do who loves me in just the right ways… no pun intended.

– Extra hormones(aka BC) do affect emotional sensitivity. We are still figuring out the best birth control potion and unfortunately it’s a bit of a trial and error until we get it right. It has been good for me to practice being gentle, though, and to remind both of us to be good communicators. Heather is so not high maintenance and so loving and patient with me and my shenanigans that it’s a bit like making sure I don’t get soft floating around in the heavens.

– I sometimes feel overwhelmed at how not good I am at this selfless love thing, this call to love as Christ loves the Church. Sometimes I just feel tired and want appease my loner tendencies. And sometimes one minute I think I’m speaking in wisdom, and the next I realize I’m a jerkhead. Sometimes I think I am doing something in love without expectation, but I feel grumpy if it’s not received the way I imagined. I’m as flawed as high fructose corn syrup!

What’s more important than loving your wife and showing her kindness and respect? Nothing.

I have been married four full days, and full is an understatement. Since we’ve been in Kauai the fullness has fully thawed and I am overflowing. I am finding the comparison, the only one that seems remotely able to capture this experience, is heaven. I am in heaven. We are in heaven.Or so as I imagine it will be. My wife is sleeping on the couch next to me and I am having a hard time believing I am alive or that life could ever suck again. I know it can and I am not really in heaven… but God’s giving me a taste of it.

Our first day here, Heath and I met two older and delightful marrieds, Dick and Laurie. We grilled out with them tonight and they sang this amazing duet for us(with a little twisting of Laurie’s arm) about garbage men. Anyway, Dick had given us, more specifically me, some wisdom on what he has learned in his forty-four years of marriage. Which gets to the point of why I have started writing again in my blog:

My hopeful intent is to document wisdom I pick up as a husband, how to be a good married, and so forth. Maybe I’ll do this for a year, maybe less, maybe. I had this idea last night and it fit right in with my goals to be the best husband I can be for the love of my life, Heather.

OK, back to Dick. The first time we met he said, “I’ve got five words of wisdom for you as a newly wed: Don’t let your wife get too hungry. Yes, that’s more than five, but those are not trite words. I have known this about myself for a long time. I do get ornery when I need food.

Tonight Dick offered another proverb: Don’t be too critical. Yes! I am with him 100 percent! But I would go one step further: Don’t be too critical, but build her up, encourage her often. I want to do this. I want to be a good husband.