I just got my round-trip ticket to visit my dad (he’s the one in the far right of my banner squating yellow on a tree branch) in Hawaii for the month of September! WOOHOO!!! And not at a bad price either: $512 total! Oh yeah, baby. It’s been five years since I’ve seen him; since the wedding. It’s been about six years since I’ve been in Hawaii. It’s about time I headed back.

I’m am so glad God has opened this opportunity for me. I’v been thinking that I need to do this for a while. My dad is already 68 yrs. old. So, I’ll finish up teaching summer school on the 23rd of July, be preparing for the dance shows I’ll be doing the third and fourth weekends of August, and then I’m off!

Yes, and then I’m off.

I think I’ll try surfing this time…

Yes, yes, yes. Been a while.

Anway, just saw last night’s matinee showing of the movie “Dodgeball”. The previews looked really funny and, yep, there were funny parts, but it went about two steps beyond the last Austin Powers movie in raunchy jokes and four leaps beyond in defrauding women.

I went with my step-dad and I was totally embarassed that I reccomended it, and even worse, he paid for us both. Another sad thing is that I told my students (I’m teaching summer school to freshman at Johnson) that they should miss this movie, but when I told them that it was raunchy and degrading to women it seemed to make them even more anxious to see it (they guys, at least).

The jokes hardly held anything but shock. I can’t see (or I don’t want to see) this one-up way of making movies going on much longer before it becomes porn. No wonder, NO WONDER males in this country can’t control themselves… but that’s old news. Isn’t it?

Anyway, this movie has gotten more than enuf attention from me.

Contrary to tradition and what the Bible tells us, according to one of my sophomore students Moses was shot.

I am teaching Jon Krakauer’s book Into the Wild to my sophomore class. They seem to be enjoying the book and we have some good discussions sometimes. We are near the end and Krakauer is recounting McCandless’ life up to his death using evidences left by McCandless’ journal. Krakauer tells us that McCandless was living on mostly squirrel and small foul, but eventually shot a moose (FYI: true story. In 1992 McCandless tried to “live off the land” in the Alaskan bush, but as a result of several misfortunes died). McCandless, at first, triumphed at this hugs supply of food, but soon regretted ever shooting it.

Later Krakauer tells of how McCandless decides he was ready to return to society, but because of the spring flooding the creeks that he easily waded through a few months earlier were now huge, torrential rivers. McCandless was stuck.

As a way to keep my students accountable I decided to quiz them after each reading assignments. The following are two of the five questions from the quiz I gave for the reading I describe above:

4. What animal did McCandless shoot that at first he was so proud that he took a picture of it with him kneeling next to it, but later regretted it?
5.Why couldn’t McCandless get out of the Bush?

And this is what I read when I was correcting a student’s answers:

4.Moses
5.He had trouble crossing the water.

And without a plague to my conscience I let the answer go.

BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED!!!

You like? It’s by Stephanie Kaye Lewis, an artist and friend. It pays to have a friend in the artist bisnass!

I’m teaching now. Thus the lack of postings…

Anyway, today was my first day teaching my own curriculum. I was really nervous and excited. It’s like show and tell and you’re showing something that you think is awesome, but you’re not sure what the others will think.

I kinda feel like I need to lighten up a bit. I think that’ll come though. I also wan to build my authority, so I am leaning on the edge of strict, than easy-going. I am more resting on the lessons than I am on my actual ability because I am still wrestling with seeing myself as the one who is in front now. I like it though. With my second class, who are mostly sophomores (my first class is seniors), I felt more relaxed. I did realize, though, that no matter what I need to exude confidense and fake it if it’s not there. It’s like the whole “act then feel” thing.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking lately of teachers that “made a difference” since I started teaching. So last week I emailed two of them: one was my Ap English teacher and the other was her student teacher. They both responded thanking me and were happy to see where I’ve come. Back then never would I have thought I’d be a teacher some day.

Nevertheless, they made a lasting impact on me and I felt the need to let them know. They responded and told me that it made their day. I love that!!! They deserve it. In the extended entry I put a copy of one of the response letters. It had me glowing. I can’t believe she remember me dressed up as the Crow!!! Anyway, read it, then thank a teacher.

Continue reading Busy as a student teacher →

A 1992 Honda Accord. It’s burgundy with dark gray leather interior. It has cruise control, heat, and air conditioning. It has a great sound sysetem, too! But best of all…

…it has a sun roof!!!!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!! I can stick my head out of it and everything!!!!!!

Amy and I have decided to continue to date. This is not easy for her. A good friend rightly called me “wishy-washy”. I think that’s why T.S. Eliot’s “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” hit home to me. The poem starts out “Let us go then, You and I,” and I really think Prufrock is talking to himself. He is split. I am split.

Except where Prufrock is afraid of taking the risk of “disturbing the universe” I fear leaving bits of it undiscovered. What might I miss if I settle down? Is this the right choice? What if I’m wrong again? What if I’m reading into things too much? What if I’ve missed something? What if…(blah, blah, blah)?

That same friend who called kindly called me “wishy-washy” also gave me this, which is advice I think is from the Lord:

Stop relying on your feelings. They lie to you and send you in
wrong directions. Rely on God’s Truth and God’s Truth only. Sometimes
I think you drive yourself crazy trying to figure out how you “feel” or
what you “want.” I put those words in quotes because, despite what our
culture says, I don’t believe that those are things we should be
seeking, or really even considering. When I have followed my feelings,
I have experienced temporal pleasure and been left in despair.
Following God is the only thing that will guide you in the right
direction.

I have a tendency to keep one foot in the door sometimes. This is not what God wants of me. Commitment means bringing that foot in even if you left your flip-flop on the other side.

Lord, thank you for your patience with me.
Thank you for changing me. Don’t stop it.
I need direction. End my “what if’s”.
“Seek first His kindom and His righteousness”
Help me dive in and just love.
You give good gifts, I know.
Amen.

Tomorrow I have to make a big life decision. My stomach is turning. I’ve prayed and fasted and talked to a lot of people I trust, but I still am not certain. I have fears and hopes on both sides.

I was thinking last night on my way home from work how different my life will turn out depending on what I choose tomorrow. I wish I could stall. But I can’t; I’ve already been given more time than I probably deserve.

It is odd to me that in the last three March’s at right about this time in the month life changing things have happened. I definitely didn’t plan it that way, but here I am again, the third March in a row that my life will be drastically different from here on out.

God help me.

1982 Toyota Corrola Tercel. Starts every morning, generally. DMV defines its hue as “rust colored”. Used to get 35mpg four months ago, now gets 15. Left wheel wiggles a little when hits bumps. Largish hole in catalytic converter leaking noxious gases directly beneath passenger seat. Only occasionally backfires. Small leak in brake fluid container. Windshield wipers don’t work. No heat.

I think the best I’ve heard it described was in that Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” is comparable to Michealangelo’s expression in the Sistine Chapel in that it is worship to God expressed in art. In accordance with what was discussed before, art is “artificial” in that it is a depiction or interpretation of something real (I don’t mean the “worship” part is “artificial”. That’s real! I mean Mel Gibson depiction of the Passion). There were choices that were poor or incorrect, but the way it is told, I think, will help make Christ’s suffering more real (ironic how something “artificial” can make a reality more real, which is the nature of worshipful art, I guess… but I think that it may be more due to a lack of real reflection on Jesus than this graphic depiction of Jesus’ last twelve hours). I don’t think Communion will ever be the same for most Christians who haven’t before really thought about what they are remembering.

There is a lot of hype, and I tend to try to steer clear from Christian hype (i.e. WWJD braclets) or at least wait until it dies down a bit to find out what it’s all about (i.e. The Prayer of Jabez), but I am consciously trying to ignore all that and see who I think Mel Gibson intended to show: Christ. I guess what I’m trying to say is I knew what I was getting into when I bought the ticket.

It has got people talking. At work I’ve had the chance to talk with a few people about it already. I glanced at the comments on the “Passion” site and it fills my heart to read how many people it as deeply touched. Although, Pastor Ken ended the message today reminding, roughly, that those tears mean nothing unless they reflect true repentence and acceptence of God’s grace (he said this more kindly than I think I have resaid here, but I think you get the “oomph”).

After I read A Case for Christ there was a chapter that described the reality of the physical suffering Jesus went through. The next Sunday when we had Communion the information about Jesus’ suffering was still ruminating in my head and in reflection of what our Saviour went through my heart broke. Anyway, the images still fresh in my head from this film has definitely made worship more intense. To top it off, today in church Amy beautifully sang “Written in Red/ Nothing But the Blood”:

In letters of crimson God wrote His love
On a hillside so long, long ago
For you and for me Jesus died
And love’s greatest story was told

I love you, I love you
That’s what Calvary said
I love you, I love you
I love you written in red
____________________

Continue reading The Triumph of Jesus Christ →