Somehow I wish I could have pushed pause in Minneapolis when I left, that things would stay the way they are and I could fit right back in. But she moves, the world.

I don’t really want Minneapolis to wait. Please, God, there is much to be improved and so much room for new growth! If I were so satisfied with Minneapolis I wouldn’t have left. Black Label Movement fed my artistic needs and is why I stayed as long as I did (and I will to return to it), but I am hungry for more right now.

There is so much to discover! I saw a guy today lower two whole sides of a cow on meat hooks on some mechanical lift thing today. He was all in white and when the meat was as low as the lift would take them he pulled over his white hood, shouldered the meat like fallen comrade and brought it into the shop. I’ve never see that nor thought people still did that in the developed world. But seeing him cover his head like a little druid and haul in that carcass totally made my morning.

I checked in with the Ultima Vez office and even though we don’t start rehearsals until next week a thrill shot through me being in the place. It feels alive and a little scary. Like when I first started college and there were what felt like endless opportunities before me. I am anxious to get started and absorb it all and give back to it, too.

I am not a creature of habit, but one of frontier. If there are boundaries I want to see what’s on the other side. But I do want a fire and a camp to come back to, maybe even a hearth. When I was in high school I was always the last to go to bed and the first to get up(hell, I still am… the last to go to bed, that is). There was a pleasant loneliness to being the only one conscious. But I doubt I would have enjoyed it as much if I really was alone. I fantasized about being one of the last humans alive as I’d walk down the middle of empty Green Bay streets as night, except I did take comfort that my mom was, ultimately, available if I really did need her. Or my brother was in his bed in case I was feeling impish and wanted to freak him out by breathing heavily outside his window on the roof.

It is a little hard to imagine it feeling like home here. It has only been three days, though. I look forward to the time when I walk down the streets and don’t imagine I’m an undercover agent in a foreign country, but that I’m an undercover agent trying not to let his guard down in his own hood.