Disorder

A person with an ADHD nervous system has never been able to use the idea of importance or rewards to start and do a task. They know what’s important, they like rewards, and they don’t like punishment. But for them, the things that motivate the rest of the world are merely nags.

This is pulled from a great article that has reminded me of many of the problems much of the world has with me and that, in turn, I sometimes have with myself.

Anybody who knows me well has heard me talk about “getting in the zone.” It is such great feeling and when I find it it is hard to stop me, in fact I sometimes get pissed when someone tries. I have also learned how to play by the rules of the rest of the world, but I eventually feel like I will explode and I have felt like I have to do something extreme to balance things for me. I have also learned some ways to deal with it(without medication), but a busy life doesn’t always allow for it. Although, I think that is part of the reason I need to dance. Especially the more risky kind. Also why I love parkour and survival situations and multi-layered conversations. But my writing and music making also help. The focus I find in those activities soothes my brain and definitely give me a sense of worth.

Anyway, read the article. There is a really beautiful thing it tells: don’t make us into neurotypicals, our rules are different that we have to discover. We are not sick and there is nothing wrong with us because we can’t get motivated the same way or don’t think like most of the world.

Also, I always thought it was the Asian in me, but maybe my sleep patterns come from this, too.

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