There are three things that are weighing on my heart and conscience that I will be attending to in the near future:

1. Finish my Masters in English Education. I am so close that it would be stupid to not finish it. I have two years left under my deadline.

2. Learn Spanish.

3. Find somewhere to help with healing and loving those who need it badly. I’ve been wanting to find a place to do this regularly. I have two in mind that are right in my neighborhood, but I keep putting off checking them out. This is actually first on my list of things tugging at me. I need just get off my butt and do this! Pray for me. Keep me accountable.

It’s funny to me how when I choreograph a dance I have such a hard time making my own movement my own. I am so big picture minded that I kind of forget to be a dancer. When choreography is put on me I generally take the movement and figure out how it can fit my body, and it evolves. When I make a my own dance my head is so out on the other side of the proscenium that I forget to add in how I might interpret the movement as a dancer from where and who I am at the moment. They really are separate things for me. A totally different energy even. The times when I have been able to be present as a dancer in my own movement has been when I have felt the piece is done, or at least force myself to think so. I can enjoy it more then, too. It’s crazy psychology.

I’m showing a new dance tomorrow at Bryant Lake Bowl. I will have to talk after the piece so I thought I’d write down some thoughts here to help clarify what I’ve wanted to say with this work.

The work is a duet. The piece is more of a narrative than I usually make in that I’ve followed the emotional arc of a somewhat turbulent relationship. In fact, I almost titled it “Volatile,” but ended up simply calling it “Brown Rocket.” The dancers start out facing and mirroring each other. I wanted to establish a playfulness between the two, matching the music (composed by my good friend, Josh Wetjen). The movement soon turns more violent, but the playful undercurrent stays. Both are throwing blows, if one more than the other, but neither really intend to hurt. Some things are merely defense habits. They counter each other and sometimes find they are doing the same dance, side by side.

There is a repeated hand plant to the face. Mine to hers. It’s as if it says, “Are you uncomfortable? Good. So am I.” These two can’t seem to stay away from each other, though. Even with all the drama and blood drawn. There is some respite, but I chose to focus more on the conflict and have kept any calmness brief, like between bells at a boxing match. It ends in an ambiguous buzz. Not resolving, not peaceful, but alive and working. Building instead of tearing down. My hope is that there is a realism to it.

I have to say I had the lyrics to Harrod & Funck’s “Lion Song” in my head while making this dance. This piece really is about two people who know, but often don’t understand, each other. Although, it seems that every battle they survive, they find that their opposite edges fit together tightly. And at the boundaries they share, they can see far into the other’s land. They cross over for short visits. Once in a while they will recognize the flora. Still, there’s no telling, yet, if the fruit of either will feed the other. But the sun setting hums to them, “I will not wait for you,” and they, sleeping in each other’s arms, are glad for it.

Black Label Movement is finally getting a website up. We are choosing pictures to include with our bios, a slide show of three. Below are some from a photographer friend we had come in to shoot us during a rehearsal. Tell me which one(s) you like. I might choose one or two of them. If I pick one that you chose, you win… a jingly-bell camelback ride led by Tunisia’s very own, Akbaar JuJu’Ju Ju of One Hump, Two Hump, Red Hump, Blue Hump Excersions!!!

1. Heavy Ear

2. Good Boy

3. You Tink I’m A Clown?

4. Fireworks.

5. Teeth

6. You and Me. Staring Contest.

7. Teacher Face

8. Tom Sawyer

9. Starving Artist

10. Special

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.
4. Make up stupid comments/puns that seem to connect the song to your pitiful life.

What does next year have in store for me?
“Foreverandever Etc…” by David Crowder* Band
Does that mean I’m going to die then?

What’s my love life like?
“Television, Television” by Ok Go
Oh, I hope not. Well, maybe Seinfeld.

What do I say when life gets hard?
“Raining Down” by By The Tree
“Well, I’m sorry we had to put your puppy to sleep. But take heart, son… raining down. Raining down.”

What do I think when I get up in the morning?
“Comfort Eagle” by Cake
*tinkle, tinkle* “Ahhhhh….. comfort eagle.”

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
“Meet Me At Mary’s Place” by Sam Cooke
……..yeah, I got nothing.

What do you want as a career?
“Hush Now (Stella’s Tarantella)” by Over the Rhine
Well, call me Stella and start up the madolin!

Your favorite saying?
“Please Be Kind” by Ella Fitzgerald
Rewind.

Favorite place?
“I’m Sorry Now” by Jude
It must be my Catholic upbringing.

What do you think of your parents?
“Nicotine & Gravy” by Beck
That’s probably why it didn’t work out. She’s nicotine, he’s gravy. Ash in the potatoes, mashed chaos. (Oooh, that’s bad.)

Where would you go on a first date?
“Take My Hand” by Shawn McDonald
Or rather, “Pull my finger.” Perhaps that’s more second date material.

Drug of choice?
“Shine” by David Gray
Also known as Lemon Scent Pledge®

Describe yourself?
“Walking With A Ghost” by Tegan and Sara
Holy!

What is the thing I like doing most?
“Temple” by Eddie Oroyan
Wow! iTunes, you are a genius. Temple. Hm. In fact, I’m going to go do temple right now! What fun!

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
“Different Names For The Same Thing” by Death Cab for Cutie
Homonyms! Oh wait, no, that’s different things with the same name. Shoot.

How will I die?
“Separate The People” by Mates of State
Will I die a schizophrenic? Or will I die a schizophrenic?

The song you’ll put as the subject?
“Sexx Laws” by Beck
Obviously!

Props to all the Mamas of the world!

My brother told us last night that he and Shana are pregnant! I was already an uncle by the time I was 6 yrs. old from my half-siblings in Hawaii, but this is different. When you’ve known someone since your first sentient memories and he’s budding new life off of a twig that runs alongside your own, his own stemming from the same branch as yours, when you’ve fought and made up, peed on each other, struggled with the same sins, were grounded together, traded chores and scrapped over left-overs it affects your heart more intensely. It’s a weird mix of joy and jealously, but moreover, there’s a sense of pride and protectiveness for a life that’s barely sprouted toes.

My brother loves his puppy tremendously, how much more his child! He will be a good father. I always knew that. His heart is huge; if it were in the NFL it would be a defensive tackle!

This is genius.

Freestyle Walking

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I’m visiting my mom. She had her last Chemo today! It was uneventful and wonderful. We had spaghetti and italian sausage for dinner and my brother came over. He brought his dog, Bella, a beautiful Springer Spanial/Chocolate Lab mix. We ran in my mom’s huge backyard. The mosquitoes are out, but they didn’t touch us because we were so fast! She was faster, but then, she’s got four legs. We understood each other, though, tearing up the freshly mown lawn, me sweating through my pours and she through her mouth.

I had a beer with my mom’s husband, Tim. I got to mow with a riding lawnmower. I saw a dove nesting with two new hatchlings. We made stupid jokes at the hospital. I gave my brother a red teapot for his birthday and he gave me a shirt I’ll wear because I love him. The frogs are chirping. The windows are open. Nothing and everything happened today.