“Thin that I thawed before this batter.”

Bwahahahahaaaa! Thank you songlyrics.com.

#88 lyrics

Yes, it’s crystal clear.

Actually. I was checking up on a lyric for this song I’m digging, #88, by Lo-Fang. I have the song in my head a lot during the day, when I’m walking or on the train to and fro, but there is one line that just seems totally wrong, as in, poor choice. It goes something like, “An idea growing quietly from something within spreads quicker than the cancer that destroyed your mother’s skin.” I’m all for fresh analogy, but that is so insensitive and there had to be a better one to use than that. It’s one of those that seems highfive genius at four in the morning, but (should) make your toes curl when you wake up at noon and reread it.

However. I am really enjoying whoever made this attempt to get these lyrics online. I think I will sing these from now on instead:

Untitled

Talk about originalogy! And a little post-modern repetition, to boot!

La Tsampa

Just under my noes, literally on the other side of my block, is an AMAZING vegetarian restaurant, La Tsampa! It’s tucked behind its organic store and the food is made with organic love! I had their full menu deal for 22 EUR which came with a starter, an main dish, and dessert. My starter was some kind of faux-meat samosa that had traces of fennel and pecans. It also came with a brightly coloured salad of various greens and shaved carrots and beets. I never enjoyed beets raw before, but I could taste the garden in them and loved them! My main dish was their Goulash Quorn and fava beans.  So perfectly seasoned and cooked I couldn’t tell/didn’t care I wasn’t eating meat. Also joining the goulash was dark green steamed spinach, bright orange squashed glazed with something that was sweet and savoury at once, and a temple shaped mound of brown rice with topped with toasted almonds! It was so perfectly presented. Enough food for while still having white space on the plate! For dessert I had the beautifully dense chocolate pie with crust made from pecans and a graham cracker type base. I drank a glass of Josef Ale, which is also a bio beer.

On my way out, I picked up some eggs and bananas and a load of bio beer and wine! About to dip into fairtrade Malbec a soon as I finish this sentence.

Been thinking the last days on the train.

Things are unstable. I feel this in my life. My emotions are all over the place and I am not consistently good when I’m alone too much, which has always been a sign for me that I need to get my shit together. I am in one of the loneliest times of my life and my spirit house is getting a total overhaul. For the good, I believe, but this hall of mirrors is killing me. I don’t have the the regular Christian check-ins that say, “You’re doing good! Way to be working for the kingdom.” Man, sometimes I just want to feel like I’m not a bad guy despite the shit I’ve done and that “at least God loves me.”

And then I have this part of me that so badly wants to share the wonderful things in this world with someone. To sit on a tall wall and watch the sun play on the parallel lines the planes leave in the sky as it sets. And to kiss and to hold and to make love and to dream and to eat yoghurt out of the jar together. And here’s is the craziest part. I have never in my life had so strong the desire to have children. I still want to hold off for a few years(which won’t be too hard given my current state), but I am sometimes very near tears from the thought of the love I already have for them. The love I am SO ready to pour into them. I want to be the Giving Tree. Not sure if it’s just my physiology of my age or what.

But then I remember that I need find my grounded-ness again. I need to let my compass settle after this astroid I called out of the sky. I need to find again how to be ok with lonely. And lonely in another country.  Staying off Facebook these last several days has helped. I do remember last time I was single for a long stretch the animosity I would sometimes feel for happy couples. I’d come back from tour and everyone else would have a boyfriend or girlfriend to pick them up from the airport. I’d take the tram and haul my suitcase into my quiet apartment and try to take advantage of my time.