Author: josh

Chuck Norris Facts

One of my favorite recent Internet memes is “Chuck Norris Facts.” They’re so stupid, they’re wonderful. Here’s a sampling. Enjoy!

  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live
  • Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV
  • Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris
  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist
  • Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris
  • Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried
  • Objects in Chuck Norris’s rear-view mirror appear at their correct distances
  • Chuck Norris has only one hand: the upper hand
  • Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas
  • The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered Chuck Norris’ world
  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down
  • There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Net Neutrality – Act NOW!

You know I’m not very political on here. Sure, occasionally I throw out some flame bait and start a conversation, but I’m usually pretty neutral. Speaking of neutral (segue!), I want to call you to action on an issue that I think is one of the most important ones to hit politics in years.

If you ever do anything for me, ever, please visit this website and support Net Neutrality. If you fill in your info and write a letter on that page, it’ll automatically send your letter to your representatives. Slick! The vote is happening on the 9th, from what I’ve heard, so voice your opinions immediately. Don’t be lazy. Get off your mental duff for five minutes and help to change the future of the Internet permanently.

If you’re not sure what this is all about, watch this video to get up to speed.

I whipped this letter together. I hope it somehow hits home at least in adding to the volume of letters they’re getting, if not by making a point.

I never contact government officials. I don’t think I’ve attempted to contact a government official (via anything but a vote) for the last 5 or 6 years at least. But here I am. This is that important.

I’m really concerned about Net Neutrality. If companies can restrict access to websites and technologies that should be unrestricted, or change access due to exclusive business deals, the only one that wins is the company. Consumers lose, and they lose wholesale. There isn’t a single benefit to the consumer if the Net isn’t 100% neutral. Don’t let anyone tell you this is about child porn or terrorism or anything else–it isn’t. It’s about big companies that want to force me to pay more for what I already get free.

If none of that means anything to you, let me put it more simply: I won’t vote for anyone who lets them do that. I won’t vote for anyone who doesn’t make sure the Net remains neutral. This issue is a deal breaker for me.

Thanks!

Josh Lewis
Cupertino, CA

Santa Cruz and Beck

Two nights ago Steph and I headed down to Santa Cruz to see my favorite artist, Beck. He played a show in a small auditorium there, and Jamie Lidell opened for him.

Overall, it was a really fun show. The venue was smallish. There were probably only 600 or so in attendance since not many more would fit in the room. It was an interesting change from the show in L.A. that Steph and I saw last summer.

Warning: Beck spoilers. If you’re going to see Beck perform soon, you may want to stop reading and just let the show be a surprise.

Continue reading “Santa Cruz and Beck” →

Email or Postal Mail?

I just got my regular monthly email from an educational loan company telling me that this month’s updated information is now available on the web. Nothing special there. But I decided to actually read the email fully this time (who reads this stuff?) and found this:

If you are receiving this notification via US Postal mail, please take a few minutes to login to [our website] and update your email address. In order to continue receiving monthly reminders, you must provide your current, valid email address.

So my loan company apparently has no idea that they’ve just sent me an email, or they don’t know how to tell the difference between email and postal mail. This isn’t some rinky-dink outfit I’m talking about. This is a gigantic company. Apparently they have no idea how they’re communicating with me, and need to just put boilerplate text everywhere, just in case. No, it’s not phishing. This email is totally legit. And stupid.

At least make “login” two words, guys. The single-word variant is a noun.

BootCamp

I had said earlier that I would write more about BootCamp, and then I never did! Sorry. I’ll kinda make up for it here, but I need y’all to understand one thing: Apple gives me a paycheck. So… I may not be entirely unbiased about Apple’s products. What I can do, of course, is talk freely and openly about my opinion of Windows XP.

In a word: meh.

Continue reading “BootCamp” →