sElf

This entry may be the worst-timed of the bunch tonight. But it’s funny, so get over it.

About three weeks ago my bud Eddie sent me an link to a website wherein you can create an elf… of yourself! Appropriately enough, the url is elfyourself.com. Who would pass up such an obvious mnemonic rhyme? Not me!

Plus, I apparently love making myself look stupid, so I made a self elf. Enjoy, even though it’s well after Christmas. Maybe it still somehow “counts” before New Years. Christmas is one of those multi-day holidays, you know? There’s some post-Christmas cultural refraction going on here.

But I didn’t stop there! Oh no! For better or worse, I made an elf of someone you’re all familiar with. I think you’ll like him much better than the original. What a cheery fella.

Christmas in California

I’ve lived all over the Midwest. I was born in Iowa, just 60 miles from the teensy town of Big Springs, South Dakota, where I grew up. Then I lived in Willmar, MN for awhile, Green Bay, WI, and finally the Twin Cities. If you plotted this on a map, you’d see that the Twin Cities was my family’s Sol, and we were a planet with a fractured orbital path, careening throughout the Midwest. Still, no matter where in the Midwest we lived, every Christmas we would head into the Twin Cities to spend time with all our relatives.

This year was the first year in my and Stephanie’s entire lives that we did not set foot in Minnesota. OK, we did videochat with a select group of Minnesotans, but we didn’t inhale.

It was a bit strange not being in Minnesota on Christmas, and certainly strange not being with family other than Steph. It’s been a year since we’ve been back, and we certainly miss them. And we miss all the rest of you too! Still, our Christmas was fun, the weather was far better than what we’ve come to expect of Christmas Day, and we really needed the break from our busy schedules. The lack of airports was a bigger plus than I ever expected.

So if you were wondering why you didn’t see us this Christmas, now you know! And knowing is something the something.

Getting a Wii

On the evening of November 18th, I called a friend of mine at about 6pm. It turned out he had just joined a growing line of folks outside a local Target. These people, including my friend, were lining up to buy the Nintendo Wii, which would first go on sale on November 19th. It was already suspected that demand would far outweigh supply, so people were lining up to make sure they got one. I wanted to be in line with them right then, but a previous, unbreakable commitment kept me from the line.

I told my friend of my predicament, and told him I’d probably join him by 11pm. He warned me that if I couldn’t get there earlier, it was possible I wouldn’t get one at all. Knowing that stores were likely to be out of stock of Wiis for weeks (and having strong competition for them until at least Christmas) I despaired. And then he did something wonderful, something sneaky, something I’m a bit ashamed of, something for which I will be forever indebted: he offered me a cheat code. An unofficial list of Wii-buyers had been started by a curly-haired guy near the front of the line, and roll call was being done by him at midnight to make sure folks who had lined up were still there and in the right order. I admit it: I accepted the offer, and my friend snuck my name on the list at position #73.

It worked flawlessly. I arrived at 10:30pm (with Starbucks for him and another linemate, of course) and had a seat on the cold, hard cement with over 120 other people. When roll call came at midnight, I learned that since we had a list of people in line, and knew their general order, it wasn’t extremely important to anyone around me that I stay in line the entire time. The line was static at this point, since we knew how many Wiis this Target had, and knew that no one who wasn’t in line would get one. So I went home, slept a few hours, and got back in line with my sleeping bag at about 5:15am, anticipating a 6am roll call.

At 6am, we were all asked to put our sleeping bags, seats, tents, extension cords, TVs (really!) and other extraneous equipment away (in our cars, mostly) and wait in a clearer, more orderly line. 7am came and our tickets to Wiidom were handed out; tickets that secured each holder one Wii when the store opened. I was so glad to have mine I took a picture of it, much like a valiant hunter might photograph himself kneeling beside his prize buck, slain in the grass. This was victory. An hour or two later, and a few hundred dollars lighter, I headed home with my Wii, three additional games, and some extra controllers. Christmas had come early for me this year.

Having done all that, I can say with certainty that I’m going to try much harder to pre-order next time, since spending that much time on the sidewalk wasn’t much fun, even if it was a reduced amount of time compared to other line members, or the weather was better than other places in the USA. Midnight sales are my 2nd choice.

Still, I’d do it all over again for the Wii. I’ll give you my brief impressions in another entry.

Hello Again

Greetings, lapsed readers! It is I, the oft-silent Josh Lewis!

I’m very aware of the fact that I haven’t blogged in a month. No, I wasn’t going for some sort of record or anything (although I may have made one). I was just busy and distracted. Mostly distracted.

I’ve got plenty to tell you. I guess this entry is really just a “hello” more than anything else. The other tidbits will be broken out into their own entries, cuz I’m all orderly like that! Let’s get this narcissistic rampage started, baby!

Hello.

Location, Location, Location

A lightbulb blew out in the hallway ceiling fixture tonight, so I got on a chair, unscrewed the cap and carefully lifted down the frosted glass dish that covered the dead lightbulb. Inside I found a dead lightbulb, but I also found a little dead spider, hanging from the last web he ever made.

I’m sure he was a perfectly capable spider in every other way, but apparently he didn’t realize that building your web inside a light fixture that’s sealed off in every direction means you probably won’t catch many flies. No flies means no spider. I guess he should’ve rethought where he built his web.

Makes me rethink where I’m building mine.